Today I am joining the positive writing community over at Five Minute Friday for their weekly link-up. Each week we gather to write on a common theme. This week our theme is Accountability.
Can be real for a few minutes today? I’ll take the silence as a yes and proceed with the raw thoughts and emotions as they are triggered.
It’s been a while since I stopped to consider my own accountability.
As a mother, I am accountable to my children, husband, and God.
As a teacher, I am held accountable to my students, administrative team, and curriculum by a set of standards and a state-mandated evaluation system.
As a friend, I am accountable to weekly check-ins and occasional get-togethers.
As a grad student, I am accountable to deadlines, rubrics, and course grades.
In so many ways I find accountability in others. Their communication reminds me that I am not alone in this journey. Accountability assures fail-safes or checkpoints throughout the journey of life and those become moments of deep consideration and change. When we are accountable to others we find ourselves reflecting and redirecting and we often see growth.
So now to me being real…
This season of life has been unbalanced.
I’ve been accountable to various entities, but neglected to remain accountable to myself. There have been days where I feel more self aware and present than others, but in this moment I feel like I’ve been pouring from a cup with a slow leak. When I am tired I am often the last person I think about–the last person on a long list of accountability. So while I may be fulfilling the roles I listed above I haven’t been taking the time to be accountable to myself (primarily, my faith).
Back-to-school season is INSANE. I’m already in survival mode and it is only week 1. But, I am looking for resources and ideas on how to continue to cultivate my faith and invest in myself in a way that fits with the busy life of a mom, teacher, friend, and grad student. Please share if you have any tools!!!
The Ameri Brit Mom
The Ameri Brit Mom 
I agree, it is much easier to be accountable to others and to do what they expect of us. It is much harder to do what we need to do for ourselves when others won’t notice or won’t check up on us. I don’t have any easy answers, but one resource that might be worth looking at is the Lectio 365 app which has short Bible meditations with space to pray that you could even listen to while driving etc.
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We can so neglect ourselves and then find we are running on empty. I have found joining a Bible Study group online has been a tremendous help. Both Hello Mornings and Love God Greatly offer wonderful Bible Studies that can be done each day whenever you fit it in. The readings are not lengthy, the communities are precious and caring. Praying you find the best way for you to stay accountable to your faith. Blessings!
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My daughter just talked with me about the back-to-school chaos and busyness! And you are right – we so often put ourselves on the back burner. My life isn’t nearly as hectic, and I do center myself in prayer and journaling each morning. Honestly, even then there are times when, at the end of the day, I feel I have neglected myself and God. Thank you for sharing your honest struggle! You remind us all to regroup and reevaluate. Karen (FMF #9)
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Aaawww, such truth spoken here! Thank you for sharing, for being transparent and bringing up something we all do so easily, serve others and neglect our own balance. Praying for you and this new school year, may you find the balance and strength to leave an impact and influence on many.
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Hope you don’t mind a perhaps contrarian voice, but I am finding, as cancer’s walls close in, that accountability to others IS the truest and fullest accountability to myself.
My energy each day is spent supporting my wife, and taking care of our fifteen rescue dogs (we live in a place where people dump unwanted pets). Beyond that, my comforts are white rice, cold water, and Froot Loops (yes, and go figure!). And this is enough; I’ve realized that my essence, which I once thought solid and distinct, has shimmered and dissolved in the light of service, and of love.
It does make it easier; last month God rescued me (yes, it was a miracle) from an acute and lethal illness to put me back on cancer’s Via Dolorosa, and I find that I’m OK with that. Other have asked how I could cope with a healing given and ‘withdrawn’, but I don’t see it that way. I’m here for a purpose, God’s, not mine; if in dying young that purpose is fulfilled, if that is my ultimate act of service, I’m content.
I don’t know if any of these are ‘insights’, or particularly helpful; I hope in some small way they are.
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