This week I am taking a look at the eccentric and unique qualities that make up an Enneagram Four. Not only are Fours masters of creativity, but they long to fulfill a special role in their relationships. In their quest for love, Fours may come on a little strong,
they pack the emotional punch to follow through. Reading about Enneagram Fours in The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron has really helped me to better understand the best ways to interact with the Fours in my life to ensure that I am promoting their mental health by my responses to their projections.
Growing up in the marsh of North Carolina in the 1960s, Kya learned everything she needed to know about survival. She learned to survive when her mother left behind her family for the swamps of New Orleans. Kya adapted as each of her older siblings fled the nest one-by-one. And when her father finally abandoned her, Kya was self-sufficient and able to survive in the shack alone.
As an outcast to society, Kya earns the nickname “Marsh Girl” by the locals. Most people avoided her when she walked barefoot into town, but the kindness of people like Jumpin’, the black tackle shop owner, allowed Kya the chance to survive without the need for society. She would boat out to Jumpin’s shop and trade the mussels she caught for the essentials.
Kya makes a friend in the marsh when she recognizes Tate, a local boy, on his boat. Tate had been friends with Kya’s older brother Jodie and he didn’t ignore her the way all of the other kids did. In fact, Tate began to visit Kya often and worked to teach Kya to read. The marsh became her schoolhouse and for the first time, Kya felt companionship.
Many years later, Tate leaves both the marsh and Kya behind for college.
Tate’s move sends Kya back to her hermit lifestyle of interacting only with Jumpin’. She returns to selling mussels in exchange for food and clothes. Her heart is broken and she becomes bitter about the world once again.
In the fall of 1969, the town experiences a grim murder. Chase Andrews, local “it” boy and former quarterback for the football team is found dead in the marsh. At first, the signs of foul play were easy to overlook, but as the police comb the scene they find evidence that someone in the marsh wanted Chase dead. And all clues point toward Kya.
From page one, I was captivated by this tale. The author not only paints a vivid image of the setting, but she educates the reader about the natural wildlife present in the marshes of North Carolina. I found myself learning about the setting while also developing a connection to Kya. When it seemed like the world was against her, those sharp edges would soften thanks to characters like Jumpin’ and Tate who highlight the fact that Kya wasn’t just a ferrel child running loose in the marsh.
I was captivated not only by the nature of this story, but also by the thrill of the Chase Andrews case. Woven into the details of the murder trial are clues that will confuse and startle the reader. And it isn’t until the final pages that the author reveals the truth behind Chase’s death.
This story is worthy of the 5/5 star rating that I gave it on my Goodreads. As an avid reader, it is difficult to surprise me. Any time that I find myself wrapped up in a plot twist or scene is a reminder of why I love reading and writing with such a deep passion. To check out what is next on my TBR list, check out my Goodreads account and follow me there.
The three weeks I have invested in studying the Enneagram have already been such a blessing in my relationships. Diving into the thinking behind each of these personality types has helped me empathize and understand the people around me. Reading each chapter of Ian Morgan Cron’s book The Road Back to You has helped me to not only add language to my own emotions, but helped me to better communicate with the people in my life.
I am joining the Five Minute Friday writing community today. Together, we publish writings based on a common prompt. This week the prompt is: Stretch.
On Tuesday my youngest will turn FOUR.
Every year I get emotional on my girls’ birthdays, but this year there’s cause for a more tears and anxieties than any birthday I can recall.
Childcare in a post-Covid world is tough. Centers near us are cutting back their enrollment numbers and being selective about who they will let in. Knowing that some places have waiting lists that haven’t moved all year we decided in January to reach out and get our daughter on some waiting lists for the fall. Many of the places we reached out to said it may be six months to a year before they have an opening. I was fine with that, because it gave us a chance to plan ahead, but to also keep-on with our current arrangements.
Yesterday, out-of-the-blue, our daughter was offered a spot at a local pre-school. With only 24 hours to respond to the offer, my husband and I had to quickly weigh the options of accepting or passing on this spot.
To say that my stomach has been knots for the past 24 hours is an understatement.
We have had a great gig for the first three years of her life. She has gone to our next door neighbor’s house since she was nine months old. Their bond is so special and although we knew it would have to end at some point, it is breaking my heart to take her from that loving, familiar environment so abruptly.
She is ready for pre-school in every way. When we toured the facility this morning she had such a great time, and introduced herself to new friends and classmates. As we left she asked when she could come back because she had so much fun.
I know that this is a good thing. It may even be a God-thing. But, it is hard on the emotions when such huge change occurs quickly. I am an Enneagram ONE and I like to stick to a plan or schedule. This disruption to my plan has really shaken me up and stretched me beyond the safety of predictability.
Ultimately, starting her in pre-school will be a blessing. It’s just hard to see the blessing through the shifting fog. Once we are settled in the new normal, I am confident that we will be happy with this decision.
No matter my resistence to change, my baby is about to turn FOUR this week. I cannot wait to celebrate her in the nex few days!
Last week I explored the purpose of The Enneagram using The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron. You can read up on my Introduction to the Enneagram, but essentially, “It’s full of wisdom for people who want to get out of their own way and become who they were created to be.” (14)
Over the next several weeks, I will be summarizing what I have learned from this text about each personality type. I am a ONE, but it is hard to finally land on your correct number so I recommend reading the book (and not just my notes) before declaring your Enneagram type.
Enneagram Two: The Helper
Triad– The Feeling or Heart Triad (2,3,4)
Security Number– When Twos are feeling healthy and balanced they lean into the positive attributes of a Four (The Romantic)
Stress Number- When Twos are stressed and living in an unhealthy mind space, they take on the undesirable attributes of an Eight (The Challenger)
This is a very special Valentine’s Day edition of The Ameri Brit Mom. I am excited to introduce you to my author friend, Kristy Boyce. I first met Kristy at my local chapter of SCBWI. I had no idea that she had been writing a novel about England and once she announced her book deal I was both excited for her and anticipating the release of Hot British Boyfriend.
The Q&A below is based on Kristy’s road to publication. Below she offers great advice for those who aspire to be a published author.
10 Questions with Kristy Boyce
1. Where did you get the ideas or inspiration for your book?
My original inspiration came from teaching a psychology class on “the Self.” We talk a lot about gaining self-knowledge and self-esteem in the class and that led me to write an application multiple-choice question about times when we feel comfortable sharing our “true” selves with others.
I started thinking about how someone would act if they were in a totally new situation for a few months with people they didn’t know. It might be tempting to try acting like someone else because who would know? And you wouldn’t have to keep up the charade forever. Then I decided to set it in England because I love it there! ;)
2. What is your favorite genre to read? How many books do you read monthly/annually?
Well, unsurprisingly, I love reading both young adult and adult romance novels! I also love sinking into a wonderful fantasy series.
I’m not a particularly fast reader so (if I’m lucky) I can finish about one book per week. Oftentimes it’s less than that though.
3. Describe your process of landing an agent.
Hot British Boyfriend was the fourth novel I wrote and the third that I queried. The first time I queried HBB I got full requests followed by rejections. I didn’t know how to improve the book and was about to give up on it, but then I decided to enter PitchWars (a writing mentorship program). My wonderful mentors, Carrie Allen and Sabrina Lotfi, chose me and I’m forever grateful to them. They helped me to rework the novel and then Tara Gonzales with Erin Murphy Literary Agency requested it during the 2019 PitchWars agent showcase and signed me after.
4. What was the process like as you queried publishers?
I did some revisions for my agent and then she sent out the manuscript in early fall of 2019. We were very lucky to hear back from my editor, Catherine Wallace, after about five weeks. I was expecting for the book to be out on submission for a long time, so I was completely shocked when the offer came in!
5. How long did the editing process take? What all did it entail?
Editing with a traditional publisher is an extensive process, even if the manuscript has already been revised many times. My editor and I did two rounds of general revisions, a round of copy edits, then first pass pages and final pass pages.
During the first rounds, I was still changing elements of the plot and working on the emotional arcs for the characters. During copy edits, HarperCollins hired two copy editors to review the manuscript for repetitive words, awkward sentence structure, typos, inconsistencies, and other mistakes. After that, the manuscript was formatted as a PDF and I had two chances to review it for additional mistakes before it went to the printer.
I got my initial offer in October 2019 and I believe we finished all the edits around August of 2020!
6. What tools do you use to strengthen your craft?
I think one of the best things a writer can do is to read both inside and outside their genre so that’s one thing I do. I also beta read for a few friends and that’s always helpful. We can learn so much about writing that way.
7. How did the traditional publishing process enhance your writing?
Traditional publishing isn’t for everyone, but I love that there are so many people invested in making your book the absolute best it can be. Working with my editors has been a blessing and has pushed me to improve my writing immensely. For instance, I think I have a better understanding of pacing, particularly in the first half of the book, and that was something I used to really struggle with when writing.
8. What was it like to open that first box of your books? Describe the feelings and thoughts involved.
It was an incredibly emotional experience. My husband was videotaping the “unboxing” and my son was sitting next to me (and very anxious to see the books himself, lol) so it was definitely a family affair. I was on the verge of tears the entire time, but what tipped me over the edge was opening the book to a random page and seeing my words there. Which is silly because of course my words are printed on the pages—that’s the whole point of publishing!—but holding a “real” book with my dialogue in it was one of the best experiences of my life.
9. What are you looking forward to in your future as an author?
I would love to get to meet some readers in person and talk about the book. Because it came out during the pandemic, I haven’t had any in-person events yet. I’m also looking forward to launching my next book, Hot Dutch Daydream, in 2023!
10. What does your writing practice look like?
Pre-Covid I would often write in libraries or coffee shops, but nowadays I write at my desk at home. I always light a candle and often have a cup of tea by my side. Sometimes I like to write while listening to music—my current favorite is Vitamin String Quartet.
*Bonus Question: What advice do you have for writers who dream of a published book?
There’s lots of advice I could give, but I think my biggest piece of advice is to befriend other writers and hold them close. The entire publishing business can be brutal, and you really need others who understand and can help you through the hard times and celebrate your successes. Some of my closest friends are writers and I’m so thankful for them. I wouldn’t be here without them!
As I prepare to cross another week off of the 2022 calendar, I am excited to join fellow writers for yet another Five Minute Friday post. This is a weekly link-up where a community of writers agree to spend five minutes crafting pieces all inspired by the same prompt. This week our prompt is: Commit.
A few weeks ago, when 2022 was in the future and we had not yet faced the trials of the past six weeks, I set out to write some goals for the new year. It’s become an annual tradition for me focus on what I want to reflect on throughout the year ahead and I commit to a word or phrase that becomes my mantra for the next 365 days.
In 2022, I am committed to Passion and Drive.
While pursuing my graduate degree over the past several years, I neglected my own passions and desires. I knew that when I started that program it would cost me time that I had previously set aside for my passions. Knowing that the sacrifice of my passions was temporary, I allowed myself to push through with little regard for the things that cause me to alight with passion.
Things like developing my craft, reading, pursuing publication for my manuscripts, working out, and building my community of writers became less of a priority while I focused on the pursuit of my studies.
I am six weeks into my new adventure.
My commitment to chase my passions is fueled by a drive of someone who cares deeply for their personal growth and for helping others to do the same. I am committed to my passions by setting goals, rebranding this blog, pursuing publication for my manuscripts, creating a community of supporters, and offering Writing and Editing Services.
If you want to join this journey into passion and growth please consider signing up for the FREE subscription to The Ameri Brit Mom. I’ll send you a monthly email with updates and ideas for chasing your own passions with drive.
Today, I wanted to give a you a tour of my creative space. This is a work-in-progress, but a space in my home that I have claimed as my own and that I try to keep clean and functional at all times.
In this space, I write personal projects, craft blog posts, design photographs, update social media, edit client work, and focus on my own goals and dreams. Before graduate school I would work in all corners of the house, but as I began to work on longer assignments and doing more and more online work at home I decided to invest in a space for myself.
There are still a few touches that I would like to add, but overall, the simplicity of the space draws me in and allows the mind space for my most creative work to take place.
Desk
My desk is a simple, 4-drawer desk with an opening for book storage. This is a great addition for a writer because it is so easy to clutter spaces with books when you are doing a significant amount of reading for your creative practice.
Chair
As a writer, I spend a lot of time with “butt in chair”. For those of you in the writing community, you know the importance of sitting down each day to write something and the amount of time spent in a chair warrants a splurge for a nice one. My chair has a high back, sleek design and allows for some reclining and adjustments.
Photos
Filling a creative space with photos that inspire your best work is important. For a personal project, I created a photo book of images that speak to me as a creative and I display that on my desk. This book was a compilation of images from social media and Pinterest. Whenever I feel like my writing well is dry, I flip through the images that inspire me and find my mind reignited.
Wall Tattoo
Okay, so this idea is a little unconventional. A few years ago I felt inspired to paint something inspirational over the spot where I create. Much like my own physical tattoos, I didn’t put a lot of planning into the project, but on a whim I inked what felt right at the time onto the wall. For me, this painted message is a reminder to Create Everyday. Now my wall has a permanent reminder in my own penmanship that spells out a life goal.
Coffee
No creative space is complete without the fuel that drives the artist. For me, that is coffee. I would guess that 95% of the time I spend in this space is accompanied by a warm mug. Most artists have a specific food or drink that helps to usher them into the sought after “creative zone”. I chase my muse with plain, black coffee.
Computer
My work is done on an HP Chromebook. Because we use Google at my school, I am most familiar with the functionality of Chromebook and prefer it to the more expensive competitors.
Pens
I could write an entire post about my pen collection. To say that I am obsessed is an understatement. One of my creative outlets is calligraphy and hand lettering which makes my pen collection very important. If you are wondering, my absolute favorite pen is anything from Paper Mate. Right now, I am pretty obsessed with the Paper Mate Flair Ultra Thin pens. For regular writing, I have been using Paper Mate Write Bros 1.0.
Aesthetic Accents
The addition of 2-3 sensory objects can also help to ignite the creative genius in any space. I try to keep those accents to a minimum because I am also inspired by clean, orderly environments. Right now, I am loving my succulent plants (which are fake) and a candle. Whenever I need inspiration I can look to my senses for help and these accents help to bring me into that creative space where all the magic happens.
Over the past couple of years my husband and I have focused on our relationship through the Enneagram, an ancient tool that helps to describe the nine major personality types. When you are able to understand the facets of your own Enneagram type you are able to work on your own mental health, growth, and relationships in a way that is productive and tailored to your motivations and thinking.
For many months, I was convinced that I was an Enneagram Six, however the more I read, the more I am convinced that Enneagram One is more aligned to my fears, securities, and motivations. I have struggled with anxiety for my entire adult life and I think because I have anxious tendencies when I am unhealthy, I saw myself as a Six. But when I am in a place of self-actualization and indulging healthy thoughts I am far less motivated by fear and more focused on being the best version of myself and helping others to do the same.
It can be difficult to type yourself because the Enneagram is based on the why behind your actions and decisions. To look at someone else and know their Ennegram type is to diminish the power of each person to identify their own locale on the Enneagram. We cannot possibly know the driving force behind another person’s decision making and so I caution you against trying to “type” another person. Instead, I encourage you to share all nine types with them and ask them which resonated most with them. You will know that you have found the correct Enneagram number when reading the chapters or infographics about that type feel like reading a diary entry that you could’ve written.
During the next nine weeks, I plan to share what I am learning about each Enneagram type. I will do so using the book, The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron. I really enjoy the format and language used in this book and highly recommend that if you have not yet studied the Enneagram that you start there.
Here is a look at the Enneagram One: The Improver.
Triad– The Anger or Gut Triad (8,9,1)
Security Number– When Ones are feeling healthy and balanced they lean into the positive attributes of a Seven (Enthusiast)
Stress Number- When Ones are stressed and living in an unhealthy mind space, they take on the undesirable attributes of a Four (Romantic)
The Ameri Brit Mom 